How To Forgive

By peace | March 3, 2007

Life is hard. Love is unfair. What you sow on the field, you may not get what you want. What you give may not be what you can get back either. People who treat us well, we normally will do the same and treat that person well too. People who treat us unfairly and nasty to us, we will always tend to hate them, dislike them, don’t feel like talking to them or want to seek revenge at times even! However, where love is concerned, whether it is family love between mother and child or husband and wife relationship problem, it is a complicated matter.

It is said that the more you give in this world, the more you would ‘grow’. I agreed to that. I have given to this world, two children, and given myself to my husband, and contribute myself to this family. I place a lot of emphasis and care and concern for my family. Relationship is very important to me. Nothing matters more than that. However, man, whether they are flirtatious in nature or womanizer in nature, it is no excuse for a married man to have affair time and again, and to go to the extend of cheating and lying to the wife. A married man should be responsible for the welfare of the family. I was angry, sad, disappointed, with such a man that I have. But at the same time, I must also think why he did such a thing to me? Probably, there are some things that I have not done right. By thinking so, it would help me to forgive him. Even though it is hard to continue such a relationship like that. I am constantly reminded of what he did to me and what lies he had told me. Nothing he had ever told me is real! He is always causing me pain and hurt. But I am willing to bear this and give it yet another try if he is willing and he is showing repentence. It is easy to say then to act. But for the sake of children and for the sake of love, there might still be another chance. But will there be another chance?

How can I soften my heart and let forgiveness replace the pain, hurt and anger toward those who have caused me pain and to forgive myself for the trespasses I have made?

How To Forgive:

Pray for forgiveness
Forgive yourself for not being perfect, for hurting others, and for doing things you may not be proud of
Focus on the hurtful act when you ask for forgiveness
Forgive those you hurt
Forgive those who hurt you — even if they don’t ask for forgiveness
Write a letter to everyone you have hurt, asking for forgiveness
Be friends again
Look the other way
Let unimportant things slide
Talk it out
Start over again
Pick up where you left off
Ask those you hurt, “What can I do to make it up to you?”
Think about what you have to do to not do that again
Reflect on why you did what you did or why the other person did what they did to create a circumstance where forgiveness is needed — what is the real problem?
Remind yourself that past pains can only hold onto you until forgiveness sets you free