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Pissed Not Peace
By peace | September 18, 2007
It is so good to feel good again. I mean not feeling sick. For those days that I were very sick, I had to cover back all my work when I am well again. Getting well really takes time. Today, I felt more vigour. I had done so many things today. Clara is sick, bringing her to see doctor, cooking lunch and dinner for the children, doing laundry, and writing for posts for money, visit to Clara’s school and giving tuition to Valerie.
While hanging out the clothes, I just feel so perturbed, angry and frustrated, right after the tuition.
I hang out the clothes, always trying to catch up with time. Whether anybody believe me a not does not matter. I think God knows. I submit to him. I am lost for words. I am really tired.
Topics: People, View All Post | 1 Comment »
September 24th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
[...] I am feeling very guilty. For not souring relationships, for being ‘friendly’, and for being not able to learn to say “NO”, I had brought my family health problems, inconvenience and perhaps less care and attention. For accepting another task, tuition, which was supposed to be twice weekly, it had got into a seemingly daily affair. Germs were passed from children to children and even to adults. Working with families or relations are more hectic than any strangers. This is the hardest tuition tasks I had undertaken. Hardest not in terms of teaching, but in terms of stress and ‘workload’. For the little amount which turns into a almost daily kind of affair, Richard had said that I am going to turn my place into a childcare centre. Well, I am fine if it was just for one month. My own children are having exams too. I am so busy and stressful as well. You have your own life, your own career, your own children, and you want your children to do well, so am I. But I know what I had done for my children and I know where my children stand. But still, I had my own life, my job is to give you two times a week tuition and if this two days tuition, you want long hours, I am fine, but not always, and it is not what I owe you. You want fast progress for your child but what about my own children and my own work? My house is like a sty(a term which what the WOMAN had said about my home when he brought her home, during my absence. It will always be a sore in my heart.) and my children’s going to be neglected when I had to find back my own time to accomplish all my other tasks. One thing affects another. I am merely giving you extra if you make it this way. But if it is always like that, I am not going to continue anymore. I do not want to neglect my other commitments and responsibilities I have. Pissed and not peace when people just go overboard and do not think of other people, but for their own good. [...]